12 body language signals that say “I fancy you”
Are you paralysed with fear at the very idea of chatting a man up? Good, because you'd be wasting your time. Save your dazzling wit and conversational skills for later on in the dating, because “I fancy you” is a message far better served in silence.
Psychologists reckon that body language accounts for more than half of our interpersonal communication, and flirting must be the ultimate example of actions speaking louder than words. Most body language is unconscious, but a few tricks will soon put you in control of the messages you’re sending out. Here are 12 wordless ways to get your point across.
1. Give him a double glance
Your eyes are your most powerful communicators, and meeting a guy's eye is the single most effective way to create an emotional connection with him. The double-glance takes this emotional connection and turns it into a clear message of “oh hello there!” You know what to do already: make eye contact for the first time, look away, wait a second or two, then look back at him. If he notices, he's heard you loud and clear – and if he holds your gaze and smiles, you could be in for an interesting evening!
2. Flash your eyebrows
Your eyebrows tend to rise and fall quickly when you set eyes on a guy you fancy. You won't usually notice it happening, but it sends a signal of interest to him, so become eyebrow-aware and add it to your flirtation vocabulary. Don’t be too calculating about it, though. If you lift your eyebrows for more than a second, you’ll look a bit strange and your forehead will wrinkle.
3. Throw him a suppressed grin
A suppressed grin is like your mouth blushing – it says “I like you, and I’m trying to hide it, but I’m deliberately not trying hard enough. What are you doing later?”
4. Look him up and down
When your eyes go for a quick wander around his body, you’re giving a far more deliberate signal of interest. This will intrigue him, and he may start to mirror the gesture. No, let's be honest, he'll definitely mirror the gesture.
5. Get blinking
When we see something we like, whether it’s a cake, a dress or a gorgeous human being across a crowded room, we instinctively blink more quickly. The other person may recognise it as a sign of attraction, though they won’t consciously know it. An increased blink rate is infectious, so he'll probably start doing it too. Pretty soon you’ll be a pair of loved-up blinkers.
6. Mirror his moves
We’re all egomaniacs at heart, so we tend to find like-minded people attractive. Our minds read “like-acting” as “like-minded”, so you can forge a connection and express interest by mirroring a man's moves and posture. For example if he sips his drink and meets your eye, pause for a moment before doing the same.
7. Give him the gaze triangle
Now we're moving onto signals that you can send while you're talking to a guy, but this doesn't make them any less powerful. Whatever words you're saying, you can bet that your non-verbal signals are speaking many times louder.
The “gaze triangle” refers to the way your eyes wander when you're talking to a guy you find attractive. With friends and family, your gaze tends to be restricted to their eyes and mouth, and with strangers you tend to look from eye to eye. But when you fancy a guy, you’ll widen your gaze to take in his head-and-shoulders “triangle”. Chances are he’ll subconsciously pick up on your “come hither” signal.
8. Hold his gaze
Holding someone’s eyes while they speak suggests that you respect and value what they’re saying – and it’s very seductive. But don’t overdo it. Eye contact says “I'm interested,” but staring into a man's eyes says “I'm psychotic, and I've got six exes buried in my garden.”
9. Smile like you mean it
Mean n' moody won't get you very far with a man. Smart women smile, because a warm smile shows him that you enjoy his company and encourages him to enjoy your company. It also makes you look and feel nice, so what's not to like? For best results, serve your smile with a relaxed face and plenty of eye contact (well, plenty-ish – see above).
Quick warning: fidgets, control yourselves. A nose-scratch or earlobe-stretch can make your smile look forced and turn your signal from “I'm interested” to “I'm bored.”
10. Relax your lips
Pursed lips express disapproval and make you look like a scary old lady. Keep them relaxed, and he'll be unable to wonder how it feels to kiss them.
If you want to hurry things along on that score, give your lips a quick lick while you look him in the eye. You're a minx, and he's putty in your paws.
11. Handle your hair
Habitual hair-twirlers are intensely annoying, especially when they occupy the desk next to yours at work. But hair-twirling in very small doses can have much the same effect as a lip-lick. It's girly and obvious, and it works. (See also: stroking your collarbone; touching that hollow bit at the bottom of your throat, stroking your neck... you get the idea. So will he.)
12. Reach out and touch
Strangers don’t go around touching each other because it’s an invasion of personal space, but this so-called contact barrier dissolves when active flirting is going on. If you break the barrier by allowing your ankle to touch his leg under the table, or by gently brushing his arm when he gets up for another drink, you’re sending him a strong signal of attraction. If he doesn't pull away, he's saying “me too”.