Though it may seem daunting, in most cases speaking on the phone before meeting your online dating partner in real life is a good idea. It will give you the chance to suss out whether there is a real time connection or whether you are just not compatible offline, saving you a lot of time. It will also make you feel more at ease when you do meet up in person, as you’ve already had the initial, conversation to break the ice.
We’ve put together some top tips to help you get the most out of your first phone call.
Be prepared
Always being prepared is not just for scouts, preparing for your phone call will ensure you don’t run out of things to talk about and can portray yourself in a positive light. Think about some topics to discuss and loosely plan answers to questions your online dating partner might ask such as “what is your favourite band/book/thing to do at the weekend?”
If you’ve been talking to several people through online dating, it might be an idea to print out their online dating profile and any messages between you. This will prevent any embarrassing mix ups between the person you’re talking to and someone else.
Don’t turn it into an interview
Though it can be tempting to talk about yourself too much, or alternatively turn the conversation into an interview style scenario where you are just firing questions at your unsuspecting victim. Try and keep an even balance between the two extremes. Discussing experiences you’ve both had, or things you both like, will give you an opportunity to ask questions about what they think, while still allowing you to put forward your thoughts.
30 minutes is a good amount of time
Around half an hour is a good time to talk for, as this will allow you to see whether there is a connection between you and judge whether you might want to graduate from online dating and meet the person in real life.
After half an hour it’s ok to say “It was nice to chat, but I have to go now” without giving an excuse as to why. If the phone conversation goes well you may want to use it as an opportunity to arrange a date. If you have decided the person is not for you, don’t be scared to say “It was great to get to know you, but I don’t feel we’re a good match, good luck with the rest of your search”.