If you ask any woman what the hardest part of being in a relationship is, she will likely say that she really doesn’t have a good grasp on what is going on behind that tough exterior. This is common knowledge in the book of rules for women in love, but knowing it and doing something about it are two different things.

Men are bred to be that way. Showing emotion is a sign of weakness in the male order of things, which is unfortunate for both of you. It will take a concerted effort, especially on the woman’s part, to overcome that programming and get to the heart of the matter.

The best advice is to be unaffected by emotional outbursts. Men tend to be reactionary, especially in emotional situations. They often leap before they look. They usually regret their outbursts afterwards, which only adds to the problem. Being cool and calm, even if you’re not, will show him that it’s really okay to be emotional; that it won’t upset the apple cart. The more he feels reassured in expressing his emotions, the more comfortable he will feel doing it.

This may be a little precarious at first. Flying off the handle is hard to deal with, but it will find a balance eventually. And if he knows that you are supportive and understanding when he does it, he will begin to feel a connection with you that will go beyond the superficial layers of how a man relates to a woman.

Those moments of emotionality are a great opportunity to develop a deep and very real bond, and one that is universally human in nature. Knowing you can trust the other person with your innermost feelings, regardless of the nature of the relationship, will create a deep emotional connection that will carry both of you through any ordeal.